Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

In Nov. 2008 I was getting tired of hearing the usual Christmas songs on the radio so I decided to try to write my own Xmas song and this is what resulted.

Lyrics

SANTA, YA LITTLE TROLL Michael Dyer © 2009 Santa, ya little troll. All of my toys, ya up an' stole. Santa, ya mean old elf. Stuff already there was meant for myself! How could I know you were fillin' your bag, With the presents I already had? What a drag! I snuck on down around midnight. Saw my parents with delight, Were puttin' boxes there for me, Underneath our Christmas tree. Now all empty. I know I've been real bad, a bully so mean. Made other kids sad, made other kids scream. Now wish I'd been good, Like I promised I would. Bet ya gave my toys away, To nicer girls and boys at play. Heard your reindeer, on the roof. Thought that was all the proof, I'd get more stuff. Instead I read the only tag; said you'd had enough! Never expected ya to take what was there. Do ya think that was right? Do ya think that was fair? Guess ya don't care. Now all that's left -- dirty ol' bowl, Full of black, sooty ol' coals. How could I know you were fillin' your bag, With the presents I already had? What a drag! Wish I'd been good, like I promised I would, Shoulda understood. Never expected ya to take what was there. Do ya think that was right? Do ya think that was fair? Guess ya don't care. Santa, ya little troll! All of my toys, ya up, Up an' stole!
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was written in Dec. 2008 and was inspired by the classic "Frosty The Snowman".

Lyrics

SNOW FLAKE DOG Michael Dyer © 2009 As a lad I wanted a snow dog so bad. Dreamt he had soft long fur, so white and so pure, I'd call him "Snow Flake" and we'd play down by the lake. To make my dream come true, oh what would it take? One winter night, a storm did blow, With such bitter might, it began to snow. Began to snow. By morning, I declare, snow was everywhere! That day, I made a snow dog, just one, just to play. I rolled out four legs of pure white snow, And put them where they needed to go, Then rolled up a torso, so fluffy and light, On top it went, oh so shiny and bright. I formed his head and for his eyes, instead, two cotton balls. The final touch was a tail and ears. Boy, was I enthralled! That night, I wished on stars and full moon, For my dog to live and to live real soon. Next morning, felt something cold and wet in my bed. A white pile that shook and shook, then snow it shed! I heard a bark and got to my feet, Jumped on his back. Outdoors we leaped. Called him "Snow Flake"; everyday we played, Down by that frozen, snow-covered lake. Then a heat spell came. 'Twas so insane. We hid beneath a pine tree, my Snow Flake and me. I knew soon, he was gonna melt, Oh, the agony that I felt. That I felt! Snow Flake, he started to shake and to quake, And as he shook, that's all it took. I felt an ache deep in my heart, As his pieces now fell apart. Snow Flake, my poor Snow Flake, just a white milk shake, on the ground, With snow melting, melting all around. I called him "Snow Flake" and we played down by the lake. To make my dream return to me, oh, what would it take? Would it take?
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

The idea for the lyrics to this song was inspired by the title to the classic Xmas song "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

Lyrics

12 MINUTES TO CHRISTMAS Michael Dyer © 2009 Hey! Don't open your presents now. Twelve minutes still to go. Dad hasn't gotten up. He's had a hard night. Movin' kind of slow. Don't poke that box, near the chimney socks. Eleven minutes left. And don't look so sad, so sad and bereft, just eleven minutes left. Don't rip that tissue or act like you wish you could. Ten minutes still remain. And don't touch that track or that little train. Ten minutes still remain. And don't you dare peek, inside of that bag. That's not your name, that's on the tag. Nine minutes left, on my watch. No jumping or indoor hopscotch. Eight minutes now, soon they will pass, and we'll have a Christmas blast. Not much stuff beneath the tree, but still one lucky fam'ly. And stop your fiddlin', with that ribbon. Pullin' on it won't show what's hidden. Seven minutes, still on the clock. Let's all sit quiet and talk. Your Dad lost his work, as a bank clerk, And with granny's fall, bills worry us all. But six minutes still, must pass, before you can dive in at last. Keep an eye on big brother, little sister dear. With five minutes left, I now really fear, To open, he's itchin', when I go in the kitchen. Tell me. Ya won't be snitchin'. Four minutes left, on the stove rack and right away I'm back. But where's that doll? What looks out of wack? Where's that small paper sack? Now three minutes left. Should we draw lots, to see who will go first? We've had hard times, but made it the best. Could have been much worse. Two minutes left, my lass and my lad. Now here he comes, your dad, He's had hard days, sometimes goes that way, but now he looks quite glad. And now sixty seconds, the moment beckons. Forty-six, forty-five, now look alive! Twenty-four, twenty-three, is that a pear tree? Ten, nine, eight, you still gotta wait. Gotta hesitate! Three, two, one. Let's have some fun!
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was inspired by the classic Xmas movie ("A Christmas Story" -- in which little Ralphie wants an air gun for Christmas and his father horrifies his mother by acquiring a lamp in the shape of a lady's naked leg).

Lyrics

A CHRISTMAS BB GUN Michael Dyer © 2009 I'm happy, pleased and glad. Love Mom and my Dad. I'm full of Christmas joy, to play with my new toys! A sled that'll knock 'em dead; best toy, a BB gun. Oh, anticipation! That gun will be great fun! Said Mom, "You'll shoot out an eye, so kiss that gun goodbye." I pleaded and I cried, "I'm not that kind of guy." "I'm not that kind of guy." Now glad I've got a Dad, who backed me, with all he had. To keep what Santa gave. My Dad, he's, oh, so brave. He's, oh, so very brave. To Mom's great surprise, Santa had stowed to just one side, A special prize for Dad. See his now gleeful eyes, Unwrapped, a lamp and shade, Of glass, clearly made. A shapely lady's leg. That crass glass peg leg, a naked lady's leg. My Mom now quite concerned, just soon as she had learned, The lamp was going to go, in the picture window, Oh, how it would glow, in the picture window. I loved my BB gun, empty I assumed. I squeezed the little trigger. It boomed! A blast of bitter air. Lamp shards now everywhere. They did so fly, could put out your eye. Your eye. My Dad, so furious. His look, injurious. Now glad I've got a Mom. So strange. She remained quite calm. Said "Keep your BB gun." "Go out and have some fun." I'm happy, pleased and glad. Love Mom and my Dad. I'm full of Christmas joy, to play with my new toys! A sled that'll knock 'em dead; best toy, a BB gun. Oh, anticipation! That gun will be great fun!
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

It was Jan. 2009 and I was lying on the beach while hearing on the radio that a big snow storm was hitting both the Mid-West and the East Coast. In that moment, the idea for this song came to me.

Lyrics

CHRISTMAS DAY IN L.A. Michael Dyer © 2009 Jingle bells. Jingle bells. It's Christmas Day, in L.A. We're gonna have some fun. While Midwest blokes and East coast folks are freezin' off their buns, We're lying here, on the beach, soakin' up the sun. Seagulls soar. Surf offshore. Good times have begun. Begun! I grew up in, Maryland, with summer gnats and sticky skin, Autumn leaves, rain on rainbow trees, The changin' of the seasons. Those seasons! Here a breeze, 84 degrees, of warm Fahrenheit. While others freeze, on their knees, we're tannin' with delight. What you call snow, in L.A. we say: "s", "a," "n," "d". While you wear gloves, we're makin' love, beneath the palm trees. Palm trees! As a kid, I trudged through sludge, freezin' rain and frozen mud, I miss it all: snow hills so tall. Sleds and skates stayed in my blood. My blood! Bikini girls, what a Christmas world, soft sand through my toes. Dropped 5 below, in Ohio, the radio disclosed. My kids don't know what it's like, the cold: New York, Chicago. Freeze off your nose, when it blows, when that blizzard blows. It blows! I miss it all, specially Fall. No Christmas feel outside the malls. My kids OK, with it this way. Blue skies to play in, every day. Blue skies! It's Christmas Day, in L.A. We're gonna have some fun. While Midwest blokes, East coast folks are freezin' off their buns, We're lying here, on the beach, soakin' up the sun. Seagulls soar. Surf offshore. Good times have begun. Begun! Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle ring-tones on cell phones.
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was inspired by the title of the Xmas classic "We 3 Kings of Orient Are ..."

Lyrics

WE 3 KINGS OF ROCK 'N' ROLL Michael Dyer © 2009 We 3 kings of rock n' roll, saw the star that was foretold. On our way to Bethlehem, to play the best gig that we can. For a newborn of this world, who in a maiden's lap is curled. Bringing incense, mirth and toys, to Joe and Mary's little boy. Gonna rock that baby, in his starry manger. Gonna dance and play, in the hay. 'Cause he's so special, he's in great danger. Wants peace and joy for all, someday. Gotta keep it soft and low, so King Herod won't know. Feelin' threatened by a baby, Herod worries that just maybe, Child waging holy wars, Conquered kingdoms soon in store. Cross and flag, unfurled, Leading armies; spears hurled. But old Herod's quite insane. Doesn't know this child's reign, Is not of this world. Gonna rock that baby, in his starry manger. Gonna dance and play, in the hay. 'Cause he's so special, he's in great danger. Wants peace and joy for all, someday. We 3 kings of rock n' roll, saw the star that was foretold. On our way to Bethlehem, to play the best gig that we can. Gonna rock that baby, in his starry manger. Gonna dance and play, in the hay. 'Cause he's so special, he's in great danger. Wants peace and joy for all, someday.
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Lyrics

DREAMT PURE WHITE SNOW Michael Dyer © 2009 I dreamt of pure white snow and its soft afterglow. I dreamt of cool night air, So crisp, clear and bare. I dreamt your smiling face, so fair, With snowflakes in your hair. In your hair. I dreamt of icicles twice, sparklin' and very nice. I dreamt of green pine trees, covered with pretty thingies. Such crazy ornaments and wintergreen, Cinnamon scents and potpourri, Placed 'round by you and me. You and me. I dreamt long colored, twinkling strands, Draping a new home, with nearby caroling bands. Wild wrappings, red ribbon by the ton. Children running, playing, laughing. Having fun. Having fun. I dreamt paper scattered everywhere. Silver tinsel in your hair. Dreamt toys and shouts of joy. Dreamt a little girl and little boy. So will you dream with me? With me? Next year, Christmas, it will be, Again, so near. So near, next year. And you may well see, This dream's by then become reality. Reality. I dreamt of pure white snow and its soft afterglow. I dreamt of cool night air, So crisp, clear and bare. I dreamt your smiling face, so fair, With snowflakes in your hair. In your hair. I hope you'll say "Yes." I really hope you'll want to see. This dream become our reality. Reality.
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was inspired by the Xmas classic poem "Twas The Night Before Christmas".

Lyrics

CHRISTMAS COMES JUST ONCE A YEAR Michael Dyer © 2009 Christmas comes just once a year, when all good children hope to hear, The soft, soft sound of reindeer hooves, up on top of, snowy roofs. Oh, Christmas comes, Just once a year. Little elves been hard at work. They're dancin' 'round and quite berserk. Makin' toys throughout the night, so Santa can. He can delight. Oh, Christmas comes, Just once a year. Stockings hung with great, great care, hopin' soon he'll swing by there. Flyin' from that North, North Pole, where reindeer stay, just like we're told. Oh, Christmas comes, Just once a year. My kids asleep in tangled heaps, I settled down to watch TV. Just their mom, the dog and me. About to snooze when the local news, Announced a UFO! Movin' fast through fallin' snow. Just then I heard a sound, As I turned, he dropped on down, On down! Oh, there he was, a jolly elf, so pink and plump. He shook himself. With a smile and wink he laughed and said, "I hope your kids are still in bed, 'Cause Christmas comes, just once a year." He ate the milk and cookies quick. Then licked his ruby, ruby lips. Back up our smokey, chimeney [sic]. He shot up, Jimminy Krimeney! Oh yeah! Christmas comes just once a year, when all good children hope to hear, The soft, soft sound of reindeer hooves, up on top of, snowy roofs. Oh, Christmas comes, Just once a year.
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

I wrote this song right before New Years, Dec. 2008.

Lyrics

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS Michael Dyer © 2009 On New Year's Eve, while intoxicated, I debated and berated, all my faults. Tormentin' thoughts would not halt, So I chose a path of direct assault. Time for New Year's resolutions, to end frustration and all my strife, Began to hunt for blunt solutions, Salvation for a misspent life, I started a list, New Year's Eve, of resolutions I planned to achieve. Achieve. I guess I drink, way too much, becomin' a dissipated lush. So one resolution, has to be, To drink less scotch and much more tea." I pontificate, way too much. Don't listen to others. I'm outta touch. So a resolution to now include: lettin' other's views be viewed. Started a list, New Year's Eve: of resolutions I planned to achieve. Achieve. Procrastinator at facin' chores; puttin' off for later what I shoulda done before. Then resolved, the old year departed, To complete each task, once it got started. Becomin' pudgy, almost fat. How can I stand to stay like that? So, in addition, to this year's mission: deny those fries and cherry pies. Started a list, New Year's Eve: resolutions I planned to achieve. Achieve. Achieve! An' I see too much, trash TV. Surely a sign of a lazy mind, So resolved to read, an-essay-a-day, Of high caliber (though pulp I prefer), Then found my list, for last year's eve, When the year before was about to leave. Same resolutions, I did seek, with attempted execution, For jus' one week. One week. Now think I'll put off, 'til next year's eve, Resolutions I planned to achieve. Achieve. (Resolutions, so-o hard.)
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was inspired by the classic "Silent Night" but is more upbeat.

Lyrics

SNOWY NIGHT FOG Michael Dyer © 2009 Snowy night fog. Flaming logs. Smoke on the rise. Starlight surprise. Kneeling children. Tinseled air. Wand'ring pilgrims, And prayer. The weak and the poor. All in need. The strong and the wise, Will now feed. A wish once planted, will now be granted, By one so enchanted, With love. Prayers ride the night, by special starlight. Christmas is near, Almost here. Nearly here. Winter sights. Snowflake delights. Dark green pines, Hint hopeful times. By moonlight lakes, souls now awake. Pray for our sakes, Our sakes. Soft satin snow. Sparkling frost. Time for the found, Time for the lost. Frozen tears, with yuletide cheer. For those who hear, Who hear. Prayers ride the night, by special starlight. Christmas is near, Almost here. Nearly here. Nearly here.
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was inspired by the classic 1700s song "Auld Lang Syne".

Lyrics

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR Michael Dyer © 2009 Have a Happy New Year! May the skies be now clear, With friends of good cheer, fine wine and cold beer. Have a Happy New Year! Great music to hear, A love true and dear, with nothing to fear. Have a Happy New Year! Smooth course now to steer, Where wonders appear. Best times always near. Nostalgia we feel, for the old year's end, Who we once were and where we once went. That time now spent; things said and meant. When we stood tall. When we bent, All that went right. Some that went wrong. When we were weak and when we were strong. Days flow so fast. Our lives barely cast. For those who have passed, just memories now last. So let's look ahead, to new times instead. A new year to form, now waits to be born Spring, summer, fall. Winter now calls. Our newborn needs love, to strive; come alive. So have a Happy New Year! May the skies be now clear, With friends of good cheer, fine wine and cold beer. Have a Happy New Year! Great music to hear, A love true and dear, with nothing to fear. Have a Happy New Year! Smooth course now to steer, Where wonders appear. Best of times always near. Have a Happy, New Year!
Michael Dyer
0000-00-00

Story

This song was inspired by watching family members ripping the wrapping paper off their presents.

Lyrics

DO THE XMAS RIP Michael Dyer © 2009 Gotta do the Xmas Rip. Gotta strip those presents bare. Gotta do the Xmas Rip, while pullin' on your hair. Gotta rip them ribbons off, those boxes so ornate. Gotta rip that wrapping off. While ya strip, your hips gyrate. The Xmas Rip is, o-oh, so hip, Leaves paper everywhere. Smack your lips. Your torso whips. Throw ribbons in the air. In the air, air, air (air)! Dance, dance, dance, the Xmas Rip. Now bend and slide and dip, Dance, dance, dance, the Xmas Rip. Unzip them Freudian slips. Your only chance, to dance the Rip. The old year's almost gone. Your only chance, to dance the Rip, Before the New Year's dawn. The Xmas Rip is, o-oh, so hip, leaves paper everywhere. But you don't care. You're, oh, so bare. Throw clothing in the air. In the air, air, air (air)! Joy to the world! The Rip's now finally here. Joy to the world! Gotta rip and grab your rear. Unzip them Freudian slips. Last chance to really dance. New Year's almost here. Almost here, here, here (here)! Gotta dance, dance, dance, the Xmas Rip. Only if you dare. Gotta rip them presents; quite incessant; only if you care. Your only chance, to dance the Rip. If not, you'll feel bereft. Your only chance, to dance the Rip. Old year's hardly left. Joy to the world! The Rip is happenin' now. Joy to the world! There's nothing' disallowed. Dance, dance, dance the Xmas Rip. Bend and slide and dip. Dance, dance, dance the Xmas Rip. Unzip them Freudian slips. Joy to the world! The New Year's almost here.

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