From the recording 4. A Christmas BB Gun
This song was inspired by the classic Xmas movie ("A Christmas Story" -- in which little Ralphie wants an air gun for Christmas and his father horrifies his mother by acquiring a lamp in the shape of a lady's naked leg).
Lyrics
A CHRISTMAS BB GUN
Michael Dyer
© 2009
I'm happy, pleased and glad. Love Mom and my Dad.
I'm full of Christmas joy, to play with my new toys!
A sled that'll knock 'em dead; best toy, a BB gun.
Oh, anticipation! That gun will be great fun!
Said Mom, "You'll shoot out an eye, so kiss that gun goodbye."
I pleaded and I cried, "I'm not that kind of guy."
"I'm not that kind of guy."
Now glad I've got a Dad, who backed me, with all he had.
To keep what Santa gave. My Dad, he's, oh, so brave.
He's, oh, so very brave.
To Mom's great surprise, Santa had stowed to just one side,
A special prize for Dad. See his now gleeful eyes,
Unwrapped, a lamp and shade,
Of glass, clearly made.
A shapely lady's leg.
That crass glass peg leg, a naked lady's leg.
My Mom now quite concerned, just soon as she had learned,
The lamp was going to go, in the picture window,
Oh, how it would glow, in the picture window.
I loved my BB gun, empty I assumed.
I squeezed the little trigger.
It boomed!
A blast of bitter air. Lamp shards now everywhere.
They did so fly, could put out your eye.
Your eye.
My Dad, so furious. His look, injurious.
Now glad I've got a Mom. So strange.
She remained quite calm.
Said "Keep your BB gun."
"Go out and have some fun."
I'm happy, pleased and glad. Love Mom and my Dad.
I'm full of Christmas joy, to play with my new toys!
A sled that'll knock 'em dead; best toy, a BB gun.
Oh, anticipation! That gun will be great fun!